Category Archives: Movies

First Look at Disney’s “Lone Ranger” Reboot

"The Lone Ranger"

Walt Disney Pictures

Well, here you go, folks — Disney’s letting you officially lay your eyeballs on Armie “Lone Ranger” Hammer and Johnny “Tonto” Depp for the first time. The movie won’t be out until next May, so we’ll presumably see a lot more of these stills (along with three or four trailers), but in the meantime…what do you think?

LEGO Unveils “Avengers” Figures

Avengers LEGOs

LEGO

Continuing what seems like this week’s theme of “new offerings from the product lines of overly licensed properties,” LEGO has released shots of its new Avengers sets, timed to invade store shelves in tandem with the Marvel blockbuster on May 4.

I pooh-poohed movie tie-in hysteria in my Lorax post, but that was partly because A) the ads people seem to be most upset about aren’t super kid-targeted, and B) the movie has a message that I think is worth taking a few extra steps to spread, even if doing so requires things that seem counteractive to the message itself. The Avengers, on the other hand, isn’t about anything other than blowing stuff up — and although Avengers director Joss Whedon is a nerd king who could very well do right by the franchise, the movie’s trailers suggest it’s just more of the same CGI and loud explosions we line up for every summer, and these LEGO sets are designed purely to make kids beg their parents for new toys.

All of which is part of the price of procreating in a mass media society. But these are the product tie-ins that ring the hollowest for me. Typing about this stuff makes me feel like I need to wash my hands, especially given LEGO’s nobler origins. I know a lot of people who loathe the rather patronizing “LEGO Friends” product line, but if I could start tearing pages out of the company catalog, I’d start with stuff like this.

Take a look at full-size shots of the figures (including what might be your first good look at the movie’s villains, albeit in block form) over at Empire.

Grab the Pitchforks and Torches, “SpongeBob” Is Coming Back

“We will be releasing a SpongeBob movie at the end of 2014, which will serve to start off or be one of our films that starts off our new animation effort.” –Viacom president and CEO Philippe Dauman [via THR]

I may not agree with some of my peers when it comes to heavily licensed properties like The Lorax, but this is the kind of kids’ entertainment that I do have a problem with: manic, frantic empty animated calories. I can’t watch more than a few seconds without feeling like I need to scratch off a layer of my skin.

Am I being unreasonable here? Is my SpongeBob hatred just a generational thing, a knee-jerk reaction?

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Or is crap like this the real enemy?

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